Friday, September 9, 2011

Now Playing- September 9

There is a better batch of releases this week. I still expect 'The Help' to be in the top three, but at least the quality of releases is better. (Although, one movie may bring the curve down. More on that later.)

Contagion- I did a review on this earlier this week. This movie is worth a watch, but you can wait. It is an eerily realistic look at a pandemic outbreak in current society.

Warrior- If I had to pick a movie this weekend, this would be my choice. I do not normally see ultimate fighting movies, but I love Tom Hardy. This movie is about family dynamic as two brothers compete to win a mix martial arts tournament. Also stars Joel Edgerton and Nick Nolte.

Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star- This movie ruins a promising weekend. I cannot describe the atrocity of this movie so just watch the trailer below. Don't bother with this until that one day that it comes on Comedy Central and you have lost your remote.

What to Watch Tonight: Weekend Edition

Karaoke Battle USA (ABC)- Friday. I didn't realize this is a show, but I guarantee you that this show is done too professionally. This would be watchable if it were filmed during happy hour at a Japanese Saki bar.

Man, Woman, Wild (Discovery)- Friday.  I don't watch this show, but if last week's enema tells me anything it may be worth a watch.

Mel Brooks and Dick Cavett Together Again (HBO)- Friday. Two great funny men talk about people that most do not know about. It's probably a good thing that this is on a Friday night. I still will DVR it, though. I love Mel Brooks. He could read a dictionary and I would still watch it.

9/11 Specials (Multiple Networks)- Take your pick. This Sunday marks the 10 year anniversary and most networks will be airing specials all day. It shouldn't be hard to find one.

NCAA/NFL Football (Multiple Networks)- Saturday/Sunday. It is Fall again, so get comfortable and watch some football.

Netflix: The Hudsucker Proxy- A Coen brothers movie with co-writing credits going to Sam Raimi (Evil Dead, Spiderman). Tim Robbins and Jennifer Jason Leigh star in this visually stunning and at times cartoonish, comedy about a business student who stumbles into becoming the president of a major company.

(via TV Guide)

Hello? Hello? Anybody home? Huh? Think, McFly!

I came about this yesterday morning, but in hopes of not gaining more competitors on Ebay I have waited to post this. Nike has released a replica of the Nike MAG featured in 'Back to the Future Part II.' Starting yesterday, 1,500 pairs of Nike MAGs will be sold on EBay to the highest bidders. At 150 pairs a day, they will only be on sale for ten days. I have come to realize that I will never afford these (they are currently at $5,000 with 9 hours left to bid), so in a desperate plea I ask my readers to buy me a pair for Christmas. I am a size 13. You can purchase them here.

These shoes are awesome. The are an exact replica of the show from the movie and they include LED lights that hold a charge for five hours on a charge. The only difference is these shoes do not self lace. We still have fours years until that feature comes to be.

The best part about the sales of these shoes stems from the charity aspect. All proceeds go directly to the Michael J. Fox Foundation with google founders matching donations up to $50 million dollars.

(via Nike)

Football Happened Last Night: The Packers are Good

In case you missed it, football happened last night. I didn't catch it because I have priorities (those being 'Big Brother' and 'Project Runway'), so I can't give you a play by play. I can, however, give you a simple rundown of what happened.

Last night was a shootout that ended in a goal-line stand. Saints running back, Mark Ingram, attempted to score from the one-yard line with no time left on the clock. Drew Brees is a Super Bowl winning, Pro Bowler who had thrown for over 400 yards last night and the Saints give the potential game winner to a rookie against one of the best defenses in the league. I don't understand that move, but I hope the Saints learn from it. 

Obviously if you are on my blog, you don't care too much about details. If you want the full story, turn on Sportscenter. I will leave you with this, the Packers will win their division. Also, I am going to see if I can pick up Randall Cobb in my fantasy league because he broke out last night with a touchdown and record tying, 108 yard kickoff return.

(via ESPN)

Thursday, September 8, 2011

What to Watch Tonight- Pigskin

Big Brother (CBS)- Another eviction tonight. Kalia was evicted last night and Adam won Head of Household. We are now down to four and tonight will make it three. Who will go home?

CBS Fall Preview (CBS)- What is the point of this? This is basically a 30 minute preview for upcoming shows. Why?

NFL Football: Saints at Packers (NBC)- Are you ready for some football? Crack open a cold beverage,  grab some pizza and wings, and sit down for some 'Project Runway.'

Project Runway (Lifetime)- Tonight's episode is a 90 minute ad for HP, but I am sure it will be "Fabulous!"

Wilfred/Louie (FX)- Season finales. THese are the two shows that I should have been watching this summer. I have started season 1 of 'Louie' and it is great. I will catch up on Louie when it comes to Netfilx and hopefully 'Wilfred' will be on Netflix so I can start that.

Netflix: Repo Man- So I was looking for a movie on Netflix when this guy turns around and tips his hat. And who do you think that guy was? Emilio Estevez. The Mighty Duck man, I swear to God, he was there. I was like, "Emilio!"

(via TV Guide)

Another Surgery for Peyton Manning

And my fantasy team just got worse. According to my sources' sources, Peyton Manning has had more neck surgery today. Peyton, you are ruining my team! The reality is Manning needed this surgery. The surgery performed was a one-level cervical neck fusion. I am not going to pretend to know what that means, but I do know that Peyton will not be playing any time soon, if at all. His brother has first hand experience with the situation.
"Everyone is different, but I've had a fusion and I've known players who have had fusions and went on to play football. ... You can get a pretty good range of motion back and much more stability once it heals," said Cooper, the oldest of three brothers that include quarterbacks Peyton and Eli.
I wish Peyton the best of luck as he recovers. I know how tough it must be to have a franchise depending on you, but this is bigger than football. Get well, Peyton.

(via ESPN)

Toddlers and Tiaras are Ruining America

Ok, so I am finding it hard pressed to find any stories that warrant my attention today, but I will try to pluck a few gems. My first story of the day comes from TLC's reality show, 'Toddlers and Tiaras.' If you haven't seen it by now get the bleach ready because your eyes will not forgive you.


It is not the outfit that is so disturbing, but it is the what the outfit represents. This mother willingly dressed her daughter up as a prostitute. Her mother thinks it was comically cute and doesn't regret her poor judgement. She believes that it is ok because she is just dressing up as Julia Roberts in 'Pretty Woman.'
“Well, at this pageant there was an option to do celebrity-wear,” Dickey says. “And we thought about what we could wear with her being a brunette and Julia Roberts is my favorite actress of all time. I thought it was real cute to do Julia. She’s 3, if she was 10 I never would have considered this. But as young as she is I thought it was very comical.”
Ok, two things. The first is this mother wanted to pay homage to Julia Roberts, her favorite actress, who is brunette. Then why pick a role that Julia used a blonde wig? This mother could have dressed her daughter in a wedding dress and still have paid homage to Roberts. The second thing is that this mother knows this would be wrong if her daughter were older. I guess this means that we can dress our kids up like whatever we want until they are able to think for themselves. I can't wait to have a three year old because I will dress him up as a drug dealer for Halloween.

(via Entertainment Weekly)

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

What to Watch Tonight: The Usual Suspects

Not much on the docket to watch tonight. Personally, I am going to another advance screening tonight (perks of writing a blog). When I do get home I will be watching 'Big Brother.' For those of you who aren't as lucky, here is "what to watch tonight."

Big Brother (CBS)- Okay, so tonight is the POV and I believe an eviction night. With about a week to go, CBS is starting to cram these together. Porsche and Kalia are on the block and both are making half-assed attempts at deals. I say get rid of them both.

Minute to Win It (NBC)- Will someone please get Guy Fieri off television and out of Costco?

Man v. Food Nation (Travel) The Harlem Globetrotters take on the pulled pork "squealer" challenge. I hope one of them starts to throw up into a bucket, but instead pukes confetti. Oh, I miss my childhood. 

Confessions: Animal Hoarding (Animal Planet)- "A woman obsessed with cleaning keeps dead cats in her freezer." Well where else would she keep them? Can have them spoiling before you get a chance to serve them at a bar-b-que.

Rescue Me (FX)- Series finale. This is a show that people have been telling me to watch for years, but I still haven't. Am I glad I followed through with my laziness. 

Netflix: The Usual Suspects- You should have already seen this film by now, but if you haven't then drop everything you are doing and watch it now. Kevin Spacey gives an Oscar winning performance as Verbal Kint, a small time con artist who is involved in a crime, commissioned by mob boss Keyser Soze, gone wrong. Who is Keyser Soze? Well you should know by now. This film came out over 15 years ago.  

Bunraku: Probably Should Use Puppets

I was checking out IMDB the other day and I came across the trailer for 'Bunraku.' This trailer seems baffling to me. The movie seems to be a star studded mix of 'Kill Bill' and 'Sin City' with a dash of the Warren Beatty film, 'Dick Tracy.' The plot is similar to a traditional Bunraku story.

I was intrigued, so I immediately Googled what Bunraku meant and apparently it is a form of puppetry used in Japan. The puppets are up to four feet tall and the puppeteer wears a black cloak while operating the puppet, but the puppeteer is still in view. Naturally, I You Tubed the art form. Two movies came to mind, 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' and 'Team America: World Police.' The puppeteers look like Jason Segel's character Peter's performance of his rock opera, A Taste for Love and the puppets move like the puppets in 'Team America.'

Half-Assed Review: Contagion

Last night I had the privilege to see the upcoming Matt Damon film, 'Contagion'. A good buddy of mine won advance screening tickets and let me use them. I didn't realize how serious these screenings are. After getting our hands stamped green, my wife's purse was searched for cameras. She had a digital camera that she keeps for those "you never know" moments. After I walked the camera back to the car, I was searched with a metal detector wand. The off-duty police officer informed me that he was searching for filming devices and that it is okay and legal to have a registered, concealed weapon in a theater. I am not sure why he felt the need to share that, but good to know.

As I entered the screening I saw 3 rows of prime seating blocked off for "film critics." If any of my readers know the steps it takes to get these premium seats, let me know. I would love to have reserved seating for free movies. Okay, so now on to the actual review.

The film starts off on day 2 with Gwyneth Paltrow's character sick. A recurring theme of this movie was to show all of the actresses with little to no makeup. Paltrow was sweaty, pale (all though that is her normal skin tone), and off in general. The movie then starts up its first of several montages showing sick people coughing and touching things. The illness then leads to violently, realistic seizures and eventually death including Paltrow, but the trailer gave that away. (These images of seizures are graphic, but I do warn you of the autopsy scene. I won't give it away, but I warned you.) At this point, probably 10 minutes into the film, people in the audience start coughing. The theaters sounds like popcorn popping in a microwave. I believe the reason behind this is the same as when people scratch themselves after talking about lice. The thought of lice just pops in their head, they begin to itch, and in no time they are scratching up a storm.* This is what happens with a theater of moviegoers watching 'Contagion.'

The trailers for 'Contagion' fail to show that this movie is a film about how people deal with a pandemic. This story does not revolve around Matt Damon, but it is centered around how this illness affects normal people, the medical community, and society as a whole. Don't worry about star power because this film has it. Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law, Kate Winslet, Laurence Fishburne, Marion Cotillard, and Bryan Cranston.

 Nothing in this film seems too far fetched. The illness is fast spreading and deadly, but reminiscent of different pandemics throughout the last 100 years. The medical researchers have trouble pinning down the cause of the disease because it kills its host cells before it can be studied.

I enjoyed this film, but I have to be honest about my requirements for a enjoyable film. Most movies are enjoyable to me as long as they are entertaining. However, this does not mean all films are good. I just appreciate what films do and that is help us escape our everyday life. This film breaks these requirements because its plausibility does not help you escape everyday life, but Director Steven Soderbergh (The 'Ocean's' movies and 'Traffic') does a very good job of painting the picture of the stress the pandemic puts on this alternate Earth. If you boil this movie down, it is a film about its character's struggles. This is not as much of a thriller as the trailers show, but it is worth seeing.

Jake's Rating: See in theaters**

*I guarantee that 4 out of 5 people who read this began to scratch themselves. Hell, I felt an itch just typing it up. Comment if you are one of these people

**I know this is my first review, so here is my break down of the ratings from best to worst: New Release Worthy- See it the weekend it comes out. See in theaters- It is worth seeing in the theaters, but don't rush to see it right away. Redbox/VOD- Go to your Redbox or use your cable's VOD service to watch this at your home. Don't Bother- Exactly as it sounds. Run- This would be for a movie like a Friedberg/Seltzer film.

Site news

Just a quick update about yesterday. I had every intention of posting, but a power outage messed up my Internet and kept me away. I did however spend last night at the movie theater watching an advance screening of the movie, 'Contagion'. I have decided to write my first movie review for this blog today. Stay tuned and I should have it out by later today.


Monday, September 5, 2011

What to Watch Tonight- It's Labor Day!

Bachelor Pad (ABC)- The contestants pair up into couples. I guess ABC is trying to manufacture relationships now? Oh, wait. That is the entire purpose of the 'Bachelor' series. What is ABC's success ratio? I think the show 'Blind Date' had a better success ratio.

When Pop Culture Saved America: A 9/11 Story (Bio)- This just seems like exploitation of this infamous day.

American Chopper: Junior vs. Senior (Discovery)-Apparently the father/son duo has been feuding for a few years. I liked this show in 2003 when it first aired and it was just 'American Chopper'. Apparently this is a whole different series and the duo is now at each others throats.

Keeping Up With the Kardashians (E!)- "The Proposal." Kris Humphries proposes to Kim. Will she say yes? Oh, how I do hope.

Ridiculousness (MTV)- Rob Dyrdek attempts to rip-off 'Tosh.0' which is just a better copy of 'Web Soup'. I think I will pass considering that the viral videos featured in the promos are old news to anyone with an Internet connection.

Netflix: Spaceballs- This Mel Brooks spoof of 'Star Wars and other sci-fi films is perfect for those who don't want to spend their hard earned dollar on George Lucas newly altered, Blu-Ray release of the 'Star Wars' saga. A couple of more revisions and George Lucas should just rename his saga to 'Spaceballs.'

(via TV Guide)

Winners of the Weekend Box Office Race- 9/5

'The Help' won the race for the third week in a row. This should come as a surprise to nobody who reads my blog. As I mentioned on Friday, this week's offerings were thin. 'The Help' had to compete with two "frightening" movies in 'Shark Night 3D' and 'Apollo 18'. Coming in at number two was 'The Debt', a film starring Helen Mirren and Sam Worthington, written by Matthew Vaughn, and directed by John Madden. This movie could have had a better release if it had any press at all. Am I the only one who heard nothing about this film? 


These are the 3-day weekend results. These do not include the Labor Day holiday. 

NFL News- Colts Edition

A couple of tidbits of Colts news from this past weekend. Former Ohio State head coach Jim Tressel was hired by the Indianapolis Colts to be their replay-game consultant. This means that Tressel will essentially tell Coach Jim Caldwell whether or not to challenge a play in question. This job is game-day only and it sounds to me that it is essentially a job that an armchair quarterback can do.

Tressel won't be starting his new job soon, though. The Indianapolis Colts have suspended him for the first 6 games of the regular season. The Colts decided to enact a suspension after questions surfaced "with respect to the equity of his appointment as opposed to suspensions being served this season by present and former Ohio State players." This is a complete joke. Miami players get suspended for 1 game, but Tressel loses his job and finds one in a different league and he is still suspended. I guess the moral of the story is don't get free tattoos?

On another note, Peyton Manning has been told by his doctors to not practice this week. Apparently, Manning is weak and slow to recover.
"Manning's triceps strength has plateaued and he doesn't have the arm strength right now, sources told ESPN senior NFL analyst Chris Mortensen." "But the NFL's 4½-month lockout prevented Manning from working out with team trainers, something Manning said contributed to his slow recovery."
This is good news/bad news. There is good news for all of those Kerry Collins fans out there because we will most likely start the season opener against the Texans. The bad news is for my fantasy team franchise player. With Peyton out I will have to start my backup, Colt McCoy. Looks like I may dive into free agency in week 1.

(via ESPN and ESPN)