Friday, August 19, 2011

Now Playing- August 19

One Day- My wife is reading this book to prepare for this movie. Lucky for me, she has plans to see this with my sister at some point. I enjoy Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess, but this movie just doesn't appeal to me. Apparently (according to what I think is happening in the preview) the two are in a "will they/won't they" dilemma across decades.

Fright Night- A remake of the 1985 film of the same name. It is vampire flick starring Colin Farrell and Anton Yelchin. Panic. Fighting. Climax. I don't know what to say about this movie, I just hope it is campy.

Conan the Barbarian- I am excited to see this movie. I know it will not be a cinematic masterpiece, but I loved Jason Momoa in 'Game of Thrones' and I am a fan of the original. This will mostly be blood and boobs, but isn't that what makes America great?

Spy Kids: All the Time in the World 4D- New 'Spy Kids' 4D! They are using scratch and sniff. This will be a cinematic masterpiece. Jessica Alba stars (she is at the top of her career) as a spy mom and Joel McHale as a spy hunting dad. After making 'The Soup' as great, if not better than its originator, as 'Talk Soup' and NBC favorite 'Community,' why would McHale take this role. Is he behind on taxes?

(via IMDB)

All is Wrong in the World Today- Conan O'Brien Edition

According to Wall Street Journal, Conan O'Brien is failing fast. His new TBS show has been on the air for nine months and has lost 1.4 million viewers in that time period. O'Brien is trailing all competitors in his time slot including, at times, Chelsea Handler. TBS is still backing Conan strongly;
"Conan personifies the smart funny tone that we want TBS to have," Mr. Koonin said, noting that "Conan" earned several Emmy nominations this year. "His program is the signature show of our line-up and the centerpiece of our network."
Conan was signed to a contract worth $12 million a year. Recently, TBS has acquired episodes of 'The Big Bang Theory' at $2 million an episode to work as a lead in to 'Conan.' TBS is also developing several new shows to help with Conan's viewership.

This is a sinking ship that I hope can stay afloat. I watched every episode of 'Conan' (thanks to my DVR) for a good six months. I love Conan, but some of his jokes get old and some fall flat. He is aimed at a very niche group of viewers and his comedy is most effective in the late night time slot. I am glad to see TBS producing and acquiring shows that aren't executive produced by Tyler Perry.*

(via Wall Street Journal)

*I read somewhere that Tyler Perry was getting his own network. I would pay to make sure I never have to see his stuff.

CBA Bars NBA Players Under Contract from Playing

A pretty large piece of news on the NBA lockout front today. The Chinese Basketball Association has barred any player in the NBA still under contract. The league will allow free agents to play, but only if they play for an entire season.

This means that players such as Kobe Bryant, Chris Paul, and Carmelo Anthony will not be allowed to play for the Chinese Basketball Association. The season starts on November 20.

This will be a decent bargaining chip for the NBA owners. Just like in the NFL, some players haven't saved up enough for the lockout. Delonte West has posted on his Twitter that he has applied for a job at Home Depot (although I doubt his qualifications).

(via ESPN)

Thursday, August 18, 2011

What to Watch Tonight- You Choose. I Will Be Out.

Today has been a slow day with the exception of sports news. This will be the last post of the day because I will be in attendance of the Buccaneers and Patriots preseason game tonight. Without further ado, here is what to watch tonight.

Wipeout (ABC)- I cannot say this enough. If you have time to watch this tonight, do it. It is great television. This is why television is invented. Seriously, go look it up. (Don't. I lied to make a point.)

Big Brother (CBS)- Dani is the HOH and Adam won the Power of Veto. Brendon and Shelly are up for eviction and Dani's target is Brendon. Most would think Brendon is going home, but Shelly is starting to be exposed as a floater who tries to be in everyone's business. I am tired of her shenanigans and I would appreciate it if she was evicted. 

Conan the Barbarian (AMC)- In preparation for the new 'Conan the Barbarian' movie coming out this weekend, check out the original with Arnold Schwarzenegger tonight. Always a classic. 

Wilfred (FX)- I have promised to catch this show. It looks so promising, but I keep forgetting that it is on. 'Wilfred' is based on the Australian series of the same name and stars Jason Gann as the titular character, a dog (that Elijah Wood sees as an Australian man in a dog suit). 

Netflix: Rookie of the Year- Okay, I admit that this movie is not an award winner, but it is a childhood favorite. How could you not enjoy this movie? It stars that kid from American Pie (the one who dated Tara Reid in the movie) as a kid who breaks his arm and can suddenly can throw 90 mph. Also starring Gary Busey and Daniel Stern, this movie plays out every little boy's fantasy. What I failed to realize is that Daniel Stern (Marv from Home Alone) also directed this movie.

(via TV Guide)

First HGH Suspension for North American Athlete, Mike Jacobs

Congratulations, Mike Jacobs. You have made history. No, not for being an all-star or winning a World Series. No, Jacobs has the honor of being the first North American athlete (and second athlete anywhere) to be suspended for testing positive for human growth hormone. Jacobs has since been released from the Colorado Rockies.
"We were very disappointed to learn that Mike Jacobs had been suspended after testing positive for a performance-enhancing substance," the team said in a statement Thursday. "The Colorado Rockies have long been committed to eliminating the use of performance-enhancing substances from the game of baseball. We have fully supported the adoption and implementation of the Major League Baseball and the Major League Baseball Players Association joint drug prevention and treatment program."
Jacobs will most likely be blackballed from other MLB teams. Jacobs was drafted by the Mets in 1999 and has spent time in and out of the majors being known has a hitter. Jacobs was with the AAA Colorado Springs Sky Sox at the time of his suspension, recovering from injuries.

(via ESPN)

Terrelle Pryor Eligible for NFL... Just Not Yet

Terrelle Pryor is eligible for the 2011 supplemental draft according to ESPN. The 2011 supplemental draft will take place on August 22, instead of the originally scheduled date of yesterday. He will be suspended for the first five games of the season, although he will be allowed to play in any preseason game. The NFL is continuing the suspension he accepted at the end of the 2010 NCAA season.

Eligibility for the supplemental draft requires that a player be deemed ineligible for the NCAA season, such as failing to qualify academically. Turns out, Terrelle Pryor manufactured his ineligibility:
"... Pryor made decisions that undermine the integrity of the eligibility rules for the NFL Draft," the league said. "Those actions included failing to cooperate with the NCAA and hiring an agent in violation of NCAA rules, which resulted in Ohio State declaring him ineligible to continue playing college football."
I think Pryor is lucky to receive only the five game suspension. He purposefully broke the rules in order to get around his five game suspension in the NCAA and his lack of tattoo funds. The NFL should have made him sit out until next years draft. Instead of a five game NCAA suspension while making no money, Pryor will now have a five game NFL suspension while making hundreds of thousands of dollars to potentially millions. Oh, loopholes.

(via ESPN)

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

What to Watch Tonight-I Love You Sons of Missouri

Big Brother (CBS)- I do not know what happened on Sunday night. I turned on my DVR and it was '20/20' instead of 'Big Brother.' I guess golf went too long. There needs to be a system to update a DVR when this happens. I hate when a network does this. Now I am thrown off for the week. I do know that Dani is the HOH this week and she nominated Shelly and recently returned Brendon.

Sons of Guns (Discovery)- The guys try to put a silencer on a grenade launcher. Why in the name would any civilian need that? Isn't there some organization that can restrict this kind of nonsense?

Man v. Food Nation (Travel)- A local from Dallas tries to eat 5 lbs of Vietnamese pho in 30 minutes. I had to look up what pho was. Turns out it is a type of soup. The 5 lbs seems less impressive. Maybe if the pho contained 5 lbs of rice and noodles. Also, how is Dallas known for its Vietnamese pho?

Truck Stop, Missouri (Travel)- This show is very obviously staged. I guess that really doesn't take away from the show. It is what you would expect of a truck stop show. I am a little confused as why the Travel Channel decided to label it 'Missouri' as if they plan on doing other versions.

Netflix: I Love You Phillip Morris- This is not a movie to watch around people like your mother (my sister tried this). It is a movie about love and discovery. Jim Carrey does a great job as family man turned gay man. Carrey then goes on to perform multiple scams, prison escapes, and love scenes. I do warn you to take heed of my warning if you are planning on watching this with someone more conservative, it is decently graphic in a sexual sense.

(via TV Guide)

Big East Thinking Realignment?

Big East commissioner John Marinatto has been in contact with both the commissioner of the Big 12 and the ACC in hopes of talking conference realignment. Not much has come from this so far, but it seems like Marinatto is taking a proactive step towards keeping the Big East stable as other conferences are hoping to poach teams. Marinatto knows that if the Texas A&M ends up in the SEC, the Big East would be in trouble of losing a team to the Big 12.
"We can and must be mindful everyone's best interests and be constructive and not destructive," Marinatto said. "But we all realize we are competitive and we have different constituencies to serve."
College football should just be four "mega" conferences. Four conferences of 16- 20 teams should make up the state of Division 1 football or FBS or whatever it is called now. This smaller division would allow a way to implement playoffs easier. Heck, you can make each playoff game a "bowl game," so that sponsors stay involved. I think I just solved college football!*

*The NCAA may contact me directly to pay me for such a brilliant plan.

(via ESPN)

Gerard Depardieu Busted For Peeing on Plane

French actor Gerard Depardieu relieved himself in an Air France airplane cabin when he was refused the use of the bathroom by a flight attendant. Apparently, the crew had locked the bathroom to prepare for takeoff.
The attendant said 'I'm sorry, you'll have to wait fifteen minutes, [when] we'll be in flight. The toilets are locked'," Daniele added. Depardieu said he could not wait, unzipped his trousers and proceeded to urinate on the carpet.
When I first read about the incident I had to rack my brain to figure out where I know him from. I gave up, IMDB'd him, and figured out he was in 'Cyrano de Bergerac' and 'My Father the Hero' (pictured above). Still, that is not why his name is familiar to me. The reason his name sounds so familiar to me stems from one of my favorite movies, 'Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.' Ricky Bobby states the he wants to "tell Gerard Depardieu we're coming for him." Mistaking his opponent's name, Jean Girard.

Well, I'm glad I cleared that up. I am baffled that a 16 year old Katherine Heigl seems to be looser than her current counterpart. I do not condone this bathing suit on a girl that age, but I have to show it to make my point.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

What to Watch Tonight-Hobo Chefs

Master Chef (FOX)- Season finale. Like many shows on television, I don't watch this one. If you are going to watch a cooking show competition make it 'Top Chef' instead. I like saying Tom Colicchio. Co-licc-hio.

America's Got Talent (NBC)- Unfortunately they are smart enough to know to steer clear of this show.

Memphis Beat (TNT)- Season finale. To be honest with you, I would probably watch this if Jason Lee was playing Earl from 'My Name is Earl' as a detective. I enjoy a good mustache as the next guy and this is what 'Memphis Beat' is missing.

Top Shot (History)- Nothing like watching a bullet in super slow-mo. I watched this last week, but I am not sure what it's about. I think it's a competition, but everything is so shiny and slow-mo.

Netflix: Hobo with a Shotgun- Do I really need to describe why this movie is great? Seriously, from the title alone you should have already put it on. Still not convinced? Check out the trailer below.

(via TV Guide)

Lebron James Dunked on by Taiwanese

I guess this is what happens to Lebron James when he plays in a game that doesn't matter and is an exhibition. Although, this also seems to happen to him the playoffs. Now I am perplexed.

I am not sure where this video is from, but Lebron is playing in some sort of Taiwanese all-star game. I am not sure who the all-stars are besides Lebron, but one of them sure does upset Lebron.The video starts like any other Lebron video, but then he gets stripped (cleanly) by a defender. The defender thus takes the ball down the court and proceeds to dunk on Lebron. Clearly this wasn't planned because on the next possession Lebron makes a terrible pass and turns the ball over.

As a Magic fan and a normal human being, I can't stand Lebron James and his bandwagon Miami fans. I hope he stays in Taiwan and plays in there league because I would love to see more of this.

(via Youtube)

and Thome makes 8

Jim Thome homered twice on Monday night to help the Twins beat the Tigers 9-6. Thome reached the fabled "600 Home Run Club" becoming the eighth player to do so. At 40 years old, Thome is 9 home runs away from reaching Sammy Sosa who is next on the list. Thome had struggled since August 4th to hit a home run.
"Hitting home runs can be very difficult," Thome said. "You sit in bed at night and you think about how's it going to be, how are you going to do this? It goes back to trying to slow yourself down and not being too antsy, too hyped up. It's just a great night." 
Thome is adamant about not using steroids. If this is true, which I am fully inclined to believe it is, Thome would be just the fifth player to reach 600 home runs without steroids. I promise this fact will be hyped up as you tune in to ESPN or read about it on sports blogs. I commend Thome for his accomplishment and I am impressed.  Below is a video of the home run. (I couldn't find an better quality video that was embeddable).

(via ESPN)

Monday, August 15, 2011

What to Watch Tonight- Kick-Ass DVR

I am straining to pick stuff to watch tonight. I think I will be going to my DVR tonight and catch up on some shows. There is football on tonight, but it is preseason and exciting for about the first ten minutes.

Millionaire Matchmaker (Bravo)- Season premiere. I have been caught watching this with the wife. I cannot stand Patti the "matchmaker." She is superficial and shallow, but she berates her clients for being the same way. She was in a relationship, but now she is newly single. How does this qualify her to be a good matchmaker?

Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (Travel)- Anthony Bourdain is always a entertaining guy. Check this out for an easy to follow program with a affable host.

Pawn Stars (History)- Always a good show. This mostly staged show is good for a few chuckles. The guys don't seem to be as bad this time around. When the show first started, they low-balled everybody. They would act like things weren't as valuable as they were, but now they are more upfront with making a profit.

Teen Wolf (MTV)- Season finale. That came and went. Apart from the trailer I vaguely remember airing a while back, there has been no buzz about this show. I would be surprised to see a second season, but then again MTV is notorious for giving crap a lifespan way longer than what it deserves.

Netflix: Kick-Ass- A solid antihero movie about a group of individuals who fight crime while posing as superheroes. This is one of the better Nic Cage movies of the past 15 years and he could learn from it. Cage's welcome as a Hollywood leading man is worn out. He has become a parody of himself. Cage can rejuvenate his career by sticking to these kind of roles.

(via TV Guide)

Winners of the Weekend Box Office Race- 8/15

'Apes' win out again. For the second weekend in a row, 'Rise of the Planet of the Apes' won the weekend bringing in $27,500,000. What baffles me about this weekend is that 'The Help' came out during the week. Why? What? What? Why? Anyways, I am glad to see 'Rise' getting deserved attention and 'Glee The 3D Concert Movie' was less attended than a Harvey Danger reunion concert. For your viewing pleasure I have posted the Harvey Danger classic "Flagpole Sitta" below.


NCAA Investigating the "U"

According to ESPN, NCAA investigators are at the University of Miami looking into claims that former and current players received extra benefits. The benefits were allegedly given to the players by Ponzi schemer, Nevin Shapiro. 
His attorney, Maria Elena Perez, says Shapiro has told the NCAA he provided players with the use of a yacht and other favors.
According to me, this didn't seem to give the 'Canes much help in recent years. The photo above is from the Bulls victory over the 'Canes last year (I am #64). I can't fault the players too much. The NCAA doesn't provide enough money to get a student through the semester. I remember running out of money several weeks early and holding my breath until the next scholarship check came. If players were paid fairly, things like this would be less likely to happen (They still would happen, it's just that some people are greedy or ignorant of the rules).

All is Right in the World: Glee 3D Edition

To my surprise (and my delight) 'Glee The 3D Concert Movie' missed the top 10 this weekend coming in 11th place with $5.7 million dollars. To reiterate how I feel; this movie is based on a FREE television show and they are trying to make you not only pay to see a lesser version of the show, but they tried to charge extra because it was filmed in 3D. America is finally realizing that 3D was a fad and they no longer want to wear glasses in a dark theater while paying 150% the cost of a ticket (mind you tickets already cost an arm and a leg). The producers of 'Glee' got greedy and now they have paid. America stood up for what is right this weekend and that is why today "All is Right in the World" (at least when it comes to subjects written about in my blog.